That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome. Votes: 3
Tom BergeronTelevision has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. Votes: 2
Ann LandersHave you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Votes: 2
Benny HillPeople who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Votes: 2
Isaac AsimovI'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious. Votes: 2
J. B. SmoovePeople always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. Votes: 2
Ellen DeGeneresKnowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Votes: 2
Miles KingtonOnly two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Votes: 2
Albert EinsteinFirst the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Votes: 2
Steve MartinThe problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Votes: 2
Milton BerleSon of a motherfucking, ass-reaming, shit-eating, hell-dodging soulless bitch! Votes: 1
Rachel VincentWill you show me what you really look like? You don't sparkle, do you? Votes: 1
Jennifer L. ArmentroutHuh," said Percy. "Never seen Jason fly before. He looks like a blond superman. Votes: 1
Rick RiordanLet's pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. Votes: 1
C. S. LewisSi, the speed limit sign said 35. Your Goin' 55." -Sadie Robertson"Oh, that's just a suggestion. Votes: 1
Si RobertsonRoses are wilting, Violets are dead,The sugar bowl is empty,and so is your head. Votes: 1
WeeKittyAndTATI can't see anything" he said in a muffled voice, hand over his eyes. "I'm blind. Votes: 1
L. J. Smith(Brin) 'How good is your lawyer, on a scale of Atticus Finch to Franklin and Bash? Votes: 1
Lisa HenryIt was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth Votes: 1
Tara SivecI don't lack for bed partners, so I don't need to scrounge for unwilling scraps.-Spade Votes: 1
Jeaniene FrostThats what happens to Snow in Texas, lady. It freaking MELTS!!" Leo Valdez- The Lost Hero Votes: 1
Rick RiordanPromises are like assholes," Elsbeth pipes up. "They stink when you put your nose in them. Votes: 1
Jake Bible(Matty) 'I'm going to a corn maze.'(Elliot) 'Oh, bitch. You've lost your ever-loving mind. Votes: 1
Leta BlakeMy favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing. Votes: 1
Ziad K. AbdelnourIs my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me? Votes: 1
John Kennedy TooleHmmm... that's interesting.""What?""There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun. Votes: 1
Derek LandyCome on," he said. "Bring the poker."I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it. Votes: 1
P. G. WodehouseI dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region. Votes: 1
Rainbow RowellEverybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin Votes: 1
S.C. StephensSerena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks. Votes: 1
A.P.I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class. Votes: 1
P. G. WodehouseHe liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger. Votes: 1
Derek LandyI couldn't make it in a chicken world, sir, so I hit the road in search of something better. Votes: 1
John A. HeldtNow that he knew there was the possibility of gay porn in his future he was a happy hamster. Votes: 1
Tam Ames - CagedI was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants. Votes: 1
EvanescencePeople tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible? Votes: 1
Jarod KintzI want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. Votes: 1
Jarod KintzWhen you look up 'hilarious' in the dictionary, there's a picture of you. Votes: 0
Jonathan Safran FoerDrunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious. Votes: 0
Demetri MartinOne person I haven't worked with yet, who I find hilarious, is Chad Coleman. Votes: 0
Josh McDermittI've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious. Votes: 0
Hannibal BuressSmiles are a funny thingand laughter is hilarious.I smile sometimeswhen I am delirious. Votes: 0
Casey Renee KiserCyndi Lauper was hilarious and generous, someone I'd loved from childhood who didn't disappoint. Votes: 0
Emma ForrestIf anybody is a master at improvisation, it would be Ken Jeong. He is hilarious. Votes: 0
Anneliese van der PolMy favorite lie was the online rumor that Bruce Willis was my uncle. That's hilarious. Votes: 0
KreayshawnFat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself. Votes: 0
Zach GalifianakisEvery Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty. Votes: 0
Merritt PattersonI happen to think singing is hilarious, especially when it pops out at the wrong time. Votes: 0
Ed HelmsI think it's funny when people, they try to imitate the 'Chandelier' video. I think it's hilarious. Votes: 0
Maddie ZieglerIn bed watching Family Guy. Love this show.! So hilarious! Stewie is my favorite :) love his accent. Votes: 0
Paris HiltonIf I can surround myself with hilarious people every day, I will always want to go to work. Votes: 0
Rashida JonesShakira is a new friend, but I love her dearly already. She's so sweet and adorable and hilarious. Votes: 0
Adam LevineA lot of people dont think of my work as being all that funny, but I think its hilarious! Votes: 0
Fred TomaselliA lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious! Votes: 0
Fred TomaselliI would love to work with Kristin Wiig one day. I find her hilarious, and I totally idolize her. Votes: 0
Kelli BerglundJack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. Votes: 0
Caitlin HaleIf I don't wear a wig, I'm called a nasty f*g, if I do wear a wig, I'm hilarious. Votes: 0
Roy HaylockI am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar. Votes: 0
Joan Rivers