Quotes about Pearly Gates

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Votes: 4

The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in? Votes: 4

When I get "too busy" to pray, I envision Jesus at the Pearly Gates showing me the time I wasted looking for something to watch on Netflix. Votes: 4

When I'm standing at the Pearly Gates, I want to say to God, 'Don't look at the records. Look at my family. I'm much prouder about that part.' Votes: 4

Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven. Votes: 4

Really, just looking around, you feel a twinge of pity for the poor souls who succeeded in getting past the Pearly Gates. One can't help but picture the lackluster VIP lounge in Heaven, a kind of nonalcoholic ice-cream social starring Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mahatma Gandhi. Hardly anyone's idea of a "with-it" social register. Votes: 4

If you had the chance to visit paradise or heaven, would you? Are you thinking you'll get another chance later? What if you reach the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter says, 'Hey, you had plenty of opportunities to spend time in heavenly places down there. Sorry. Votes: 3

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die! Votes: 2

I done been to the pearly gates, they sent me back said the good die young I ain't eligible for that Votes: 2

I envy the people who say, 'oh, well, I've got my name in the golden book and I'm going to be entered into the pearly gates.' Votes: 2

It's a thin line between paper and hate, Friends and snakes, nine millis and thirty-eights, Hell or the pearly gates...I was destined to come, Predicted, blame God, He blew breath in my lungs. Votes: 2

The kings of terrors, the last enemy, will never be able to breach the pearly gates and disturb the bliss of heaven! No more deathbed vigils or funerals. The hearse will have made its last journey. Votes: 2

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh, you know something? I'm so far away from believing that it exists, and the only thing I know are jokes about it. Votes: 2

His mother had told him that when you looked into the eyes of God at the pearly gates, all the questions you ever had were answered. Ronan had a lot of questions. Waking Glendower might be like that. Fewer angels attending, and maybe a heavier Welsh accent. Slightly less judgment. Votes: 2

I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole! Votes: 2

It often occurs to me that if, against all odds, there is a judgmental God and heaven, it will come to pass that when the pearly gates open, those who had the valor to think for themselves will be escorted to the head of the line, garlanded, and given their own personal audience. Votes: 2

This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates. Votes: 2