When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. Votes: 16
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? Votes: 15
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. Votes: 14
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass. Votes: 14
Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that? Votes: 11
Your ignorance cramps my conversation Votes: 11
Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. Votes: 0
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun. Votes: 0
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him. Votes: 0
Lots of travel, away from home. Votes: 0
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. Votes: 0
I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns. Votes: 0
Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees. Votes: 0
Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top. Votes: 0
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie. Votes: 0
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. Votes: 0
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses? Votes: 0
Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me. Votes: 0
It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets. Votes: 0
Please don't stand up on my account. Votes: 0
It gave dirty politics a bad name. Votes: 0
Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency. Votes: 0
We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. Votes: 0
I tell jokes to pay my green fees. Votes: 0
I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there. Votes: 0
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. Votes: 0
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood. Votes: 0