Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now in a new business: confetti. Votes: 0
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. Votes: 0
You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats Votes: 0
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Votes: 0
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. Votes: 0
When you work with your hands, you learn to appreciate how easy it is to earn money talking. Votes: 0
As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment. Votes: 0
I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch. Votes: 0
9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control! Votes: 0
It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy. Votes: 0
All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around. Votes: 0
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. Votes: 0
President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed. Votes: 0
Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street Votes: 0
At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror? Votes: 0
Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse? Votes: 0
Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year. Votes: 0
106 [degrees] in the valley... I was sweating like Dan Rather checking for forged documents. Votes: 0
Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity "Love Ride" by donating a painting to this cause. Votes: 0
The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump. Votes: 0
I don't like goodbyes, NBC does. Votes: 0
Happiness is a privilege Votes: 0
Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats? Votes: 0
The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe Biden. Votes: 0
Here is a very inexpensive costume idea. Wear a re-elect Obama button and go out as a journalist. Votes: 0
I guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Votes: 0
Sixty years ago this week Hitler invaded Poland. This led to the creation of The History Channel. Votes: 0
Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name. Votes: 0
Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick? Votes: 0
I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS. Votes: 0
They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years. Votes: 0
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Votes: 0
How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak? Votes: 0
Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40. Votes: 0