My dad died when I was 23. His death was sudden and shocking - the result of a car crash - and I never got to say goodbye.
A death from a long illness is very different from a sudden death. It gives you time to say goodbye and time to adjust to the idea that the beloved will not be with you anymore.
Life is a series of sudden disappearances, leave-takings without the proper goodbyes.
Sudden total weight loss.