I think of myself as unconventional, I guess. I maybe always had a problem with authority, like a stubbornness about what's expected - despite wanting to get some recognition through performing - but also not always wanting to do the expected thing.
I will tell you King's First Law of Recognition: You never get it when you want it, and then when it comes, you get too much.
Billie Jean King
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.