One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening. Votes: 2
Franklin P. JonesIf women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Votes: 2
Robin WilliamsIf you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. Votes: 2
Alice Roosevelt LongworthYou have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. Votes: 2
Winston ChurchillPeople who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Votes: 2
Isaac AsimovThat's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Votes: 2
George CarlinSuppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. Votes: 2
Mark TwainI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Votes: 2
Winston ChurchillAll my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. Votes: 2
Jane WagnerA bush-warbler,Coming to the verandah-edge,Left its droppingsOn the rice-cakes. Votes: 1
Matsuo Bash?BirdsWe are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. Votes: 1
W. H. AudenMy doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more Votes: 1
Walter MatthauYou only become funny when you have a complete reverence for life. Votes: 0
Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount CherwellIt's funny how you can be mad at someone one moment and want to hug them the next.
Anne Morrow LindberghI just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.
Charles M. SchulzLife has a funny way of helping you out when you think that everything's gone wrong.
Alanis MorissetteFunny how the last thing we want the world to see is almost the first thing to show.
Courtney SummersIts a funny thing Alice, dying is just the way I composed it in Tod und Verklärung.
Richard StraussIt was funny, though, the things you didn't learn about people until after they died.
Cynthia Leitich SmithYou can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
Elaine StritchLoyalty was a funny thing. So was love. They both bit you when you least expected it.
Jodi Lynn AndersonIn this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that's funny.
Leighton MeesterGross things sound funny and set people up to listen to something a little uninviting.
Brian ChippendaleBut it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want.
Chris BohjalianUsually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.
David SedarisNirvana is very funny. It's not sincere particularly. It's rather frivolous, actually.
Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount CherwellYou put out a funny podcast, you talk about bak chor mee. I will say mee siam mai hum.
Lee Hsien LoongComedy is a very personal thing, and some people will find it funny, some people wont.
Stephen ManganAdolescence is a kind of emotional seasickness. Both are funny, but only in retrospect.
Arthur KoestlerIf you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
Cassandra ClareAnyway, we had a blast, and the movie [the Ghost Team] turned out really, really funny.
David KrumholtzIt was funny, she thought, but her smile turned wistful because she had nobody to tell.
Laini TaylorI always remember loving Even Stevens - that show was so brilliant and funny and smart.
Luke BenwardIt's funny how the night that changes your life forever starts out like all the others.
Marisha PesslFunny, when you finally faced reality, it was amazing how clearly you could see things.
Mary Higgins ClarkIt felt really good to kind of find my voice and say stuff, and to be funny, hopefully.
Parker PoseyI don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.
Sarah SilvermanFunny how we look for miracles in our lives when our life is one big miracle in itself.
Victoria FinlayLove has a funny way of showing up when you aren't looking for it and didn't plan on it.
Adriana TrigianiUnfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.
Ben FeldmanI'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David CrossIt's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.
Natalie MerchantThere was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.
Raymond CarverI think there's a certain space people have decided I occupy - the funny-sidekick thing.
Zooey DeschanelA funny thing is that you can't search me on Twitter because Adam Levine dominates there.
Adam DeVineI've been blessed to have done different roles, but I don't think people see me as funny.
Dustin DiamondMy dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not
Ellen DeGeneresA lot of people dont think of my work as being all that funny, but I think its hilarious!
Fred TomaselliGoodwin has done the seemingly impossible-he has made economics comprehensible and funny.
Joel BakanI'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
Keenen Ivory WayansThe rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.
Kingsley AmisI was always thinking the funny things but was always quiet and scared to be made fun of.
Nikki GlaserComedy is not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to tell the truth and then that's funny.
Paula PattonNot that that's the goal, but sometimes these funny insights can also be deeply profound.
Ted AlexandroCareers are funny things. They begin mysteriously and, just as mysteriously, they can end.
Edward AlbeeThe idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
Emma StoneWe're too busy busting whorehouses or solving murders. That's what makes the show so funny
Jaime BergmanThat's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.
Jennifer AnistonThe Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny"¦ Alright, it's a little funny.
John GreenYou have to realize that Mel [Gibson], he's a funny guy. He's got a wicked sense of humor.
Keith CarradineWell, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
Sarah SilvermanI like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor.
Shiloh FernandezIt's usually the funny comments which are the better ones - and they are good for the game.
Andrew FlintoffA comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny.
Chuck Jones...that is the best-to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
Gloria VanderbiltA funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.
Greg GutfeldChildren when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense
Lucille CliftonThe stage is a training ground and it's where you learn what's funny and what's successful.
Matthew LillardAmbition is a funny thing. You can completely screw yourself with it if you're not careful.
Simon Le BonI love Ice Cube and Charlie Day. They're brilliant men, great actors and very funny people.
Tracy MorganYou always dream about being on a baseball card. It's kind of funny when you finally see it.
Alex RodriguezFor aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill BurrI think that life is very dark at times and there are things that are very funny about that.
Brett GelmanI used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.
Denis NordenSometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Guy DavenportI'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.
Harold RamisThere's something funny about being on a big stage and not making a big effort to fill it up
Jemaine ClementPeople are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing.
Jennifer LeeHere's what I really love: I love a funny story that I can tag a serious line on the end of.
Max LucadoThat's the funny thing about knowing you can't have something. It makes you desperate. -Leah
Stephenie MeyerI am inspired by the films of Pedro Almodóvar, as they are funny, sad, and extremely weird.
Volker BertelmannWhen you're doing standup you're kind of doing, 'Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.'
Zach GalifianakisI've always found the most tragic things funny. I was always the guy laughing at the funeral.
Andrew GurlandIt is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed.
C. S. LewisRaphael snapped, "This isn't funny." "That's why no one's laughing." -Raphael & Jace, pg.272-
Cassandra ClareFunny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything...
Clive BarkerI laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny.
Condoleezza RiceI find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy.
Eric DrookerIt's funny the things you think you're scared of until they're upon you, and then you're not.
Gayle FormanOne time, Bert and I were making out for so long it wasn't even funny..But then it was funny.
Gerard WayWithin the framework of something very dramatic, funny things happen. Organically, from them.
Gloria Calderon KellettMy husband is very funny and his humor has gotten us through a lot. He's good at defusing me.
Julie BowenA funny line can never exist on its own. It needs to be surrounded by mood and circumstances.
Lorrie MooreTough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.
Mignon McLaughlinYou have to know where the funny is, and if you know where the funny is, you know everything.
Sheila HetiI was often getting hired to play sociopaths and psychopaths and stuff, which is really funny.
Brady CorbetI could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained.
Caitlin MoranThe accents are really really funny. I think I could convince somebody I was from New Zealand.
Carter JenkinsAmerican comedies about Asians have never been funny to me. That always kind of pissed me off.
Cary-Hiroyuki TagawaDeath is funny, when you think about it. Everybody does it, but nobody knows how, exactly how.
Laurie Halse AndersonLife is a gamble, we scramble for money, I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny.
ProdigyI don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.
Samantha BeeThe whole exploitation thing is funny, too. Exploitation is the nature of the world, isn't it?
Scott McClanahanI'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.
Sean William ScottIf you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.
Tom HanksYou have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow.
Will RogersPeople might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different.
Bob RossI can't say that period talk is my favorite bonding arena. But I also think it's sort of funny.
Carrie FisherIt's funny how the beauty of art has so much more to do with the frame than the artwork itself.
Chuck PalahniukJohnny Hart became much less funny after he found sobriety, and religion, around the same time.
Gene WeingartenChildren have an easier ability to tap into the surreal than adults do, in a funny kind of way.
Julie TaymorWhen anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny.
Merrill MarkoeWhen I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.
Michael BubleFilming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until its over.
Nicole Holofcener[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.
P. J. O'Rourke[when I'm not working I like to] listen to music, watch something really funny like South Park.
Queen LatifahIt's in our own lives, every single day, whether we recognize it as funny at the moment or not.
Sean AstinIf you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill BurrI don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Daniel ToshIt's funny because my main awkwardness around writing the song had little to do with the method.
Erin McKeownFor someone so conflicted, who am I to give advice to anybody? It's such a funny, grandiose idea
Florence WelchTo be sitting on the bench behind somebody who only started to play when he was 30 is not funny.
Jens LehmannIt's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
Jeremy ClarksonIt's funny when people debate about music, because they get so passionate about what they enjoy.
Judd ApatowThe funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.
Kevin SorboI am only able to be honest. And sometimes my view of the world is pretty dark. But still funny.
Rachel ZuckerIt was Saturday night and I was feelin kinda funny, Gold around my neck, pockets full of money.
Schoolly DThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
Adam CarollaThat just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life.
Angelina JolieThe reading public isn't born that doesn't think foreigners are either funny or faintly sinister.
Christopher HitchensI bleed and breathe Hawks. Even when I played for other teams I felt funny, because I was a Hawk.
Dominique WilkinsI happen to like things that are funny and dramatic at the same time. I don't see the difference.
Drew GoddardI always thought it's way more important to be funny or to be honest than to look any certain way
Emma StoneIt's funny, but three of my early films were with Liam Neeson, before Liam Neeson was a big star.
Fred MelamedI can go for a week without a guitar, but it's not even funny if I don't get to surf for a month.
Jack JohnsonI kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?
John Mulaney'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny.
Katey SagalThe French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.
Matt GroeningWhen the situation is serious, don't be funny; and when the situation is funny, don't be serious!
Mehmet Murat ildanWhenever I watch a documentary about the space, I find the news in the world very funny and dull!
Mehmet Murat ildanUnderwear. It's like a god damned leash. It also constantly reminds me of how funny I look naked.
Pete WentzMama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too.
Reba McEntireIsn't it funny how something that will later be a blessing can be a curse if you get it too soon.
T. D. JakesIt's funny, but you never really think much about breathing. Until it's all you ever think about.
Tim WintonMy movies before tend to be just funny. But it wasn't a conscious thing I was looking for at all.
Todd PhillipsThe easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way you can break the ice.
Adam McKayI think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy.
Ben BarnesIt's funny: half my films were flops, half did well. It would be terrible if I'd had only success.
Claude LelouchEverything Will Ferrell says during scenes is so funny and so natural. I was amazed at his genius.
Erick ChavarriaThere's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.
Jim GaffiganI think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
John HodgmanTime's a funny thing, bending, warping, stretching, and compressing, all depending on perspective.
Lisa GenovaShe gets naughty with her Pilates body And she thinks it's really funny when her nose goes bloody
Mickey AvalonI don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
Paul LyndeI never intended to make a living from music. That's the funny thing. I wanted to be a journalist.
Pete SeegerIt is quite possible for the vulgar to be funny, but to succeed, it must rise to a certain genius.
Roger EbertIf you have a character that doesn't have anything wrong with him, there's nothing funny about it.
Will ArnettI think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.
Aaron McGruderI love funny women, and just being around them talking is fine with me. I love an interesting mind.
Curtis JacksonThe truth is funny. Honest discovery, observation, and reaction is better than contrived invention.
Del CloseMy fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans.
Ellie GouldingGene Wilder often said that his job as an actor wasn't to make something funny but to make it real.
Gene WilderPeople have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
Gilbert GottfriedNo wonder Wonderland isn't funny to read anymore: We live there full time. We need a break from it.
Gregory MaguireThe funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
Jo BrandI have a three-piece suit. I'm an art collector. I have a funny accent. So I'm probably the killer.
Mads MikkelsenFriday and Saturday nights have a funny way of revealing what we really believe on Sunday mornings.
Mark HartIt was funny that you know someone for years but still discover something you never noticed before.
Nicholas SparksIt's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.
Rick RiordanI look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
Eden AhbezWhen you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.
Elizabeth BanksHe runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery.
Holly BlackJust because you're a belter doesn't make you funny; it just means that's how your pipes are set up.
Laura BenantiI think that certain things are funny and certain things are okay to make fun of - including myself.
Mila KunisWe're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday.
Neil Patrick HarrisI want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.
Tracy MorganI just recently joined Twitter. It's very positive - I love all the accolades. If my ego is hurting, I can just open my Twitter account and see 'Oh, I love you! I love the show!' and it's great. I'm trying to find the balance between trying to be funny, being honest and just being a promoter as the guy on 'Royal Pains.' Votes: 1 Mark Feuerstein
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself. Votes: 1 Olivia Wilde
I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage funny how life works out like that. Votes: 2 Rachel Roy
The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic. Votes: 1 Dominic Chianese
It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids. Votes: 1 Ana Gasteyer
I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier. Votes: 4 Steve Carell
Try to find someone with a sense of humor. That's an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. You don't want to hide away from a point, because some points are serious, but you'd rather have a discussion that was a discussion, rather than an argument. Votes: 1 Ed Sheeran
It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you're instantly global. Votes: 2 Mike Mills
What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?' Votes: 2 Meghan Markle
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia! Votes: 1 Vera Wang
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on. Votes: 1 Lauren Graham
My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? Votes: 3 Bob Saget
Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker. Votes: 1 Pippa Evans
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. Votes: 1 John Krasinski
Being a black woman, there's so many different sides of us. We are funny, silly, romantic, professional, smart, and we have good jobs. Votes: 1 Lauren London
Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends who are French, Australian, English and American; a very weird mix. Votes: 1 Caroline Winberg
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Votes: 3 Oscar Wilde
Oh, I adored Mickey Mouse when I was a child. He was the emblem of happiness and funniness. You went to the movies then, you saw two movies and a short. When Mickey Mouse came on the screen and there was his big head, my sister said she had to hold onto me. I went berserk. Votes: 1 Maurice Sendak
It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. Votes: 1 Megan Follows
That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. Votes: 1 Jimmy Kimmel
I honestly love any good chick flick, as long as it's a good movie or pretty funny. 'Love Actually' is a no-brainer. Votes: 2 Matt McGorry
Our family's special holiday tradition is going over to my grandparent's house on Christmas morning. My grandma cooks a big breakfast, and I love hearing her tell old funny stories. Votes: 1 Caroline Sunshine
My brothers and sister and me grew up making fun of each other, the way we'd speak or move. When we get together, everyone's funny, quick, loud, and speaks on top of each other. It was like a great comedy school; nothing is precious. Votes: 1 Colman Domingo
I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny. Votes: 1 Ryan Stiles
My brothers and sister and me grew up making fun of each other, the way we'd speak or move. When we get together, everyone's funny, quick, loud, and speaks on top of each other. It was like a great comedy school; nothing is precious. Votes: 1 Colman Domingo
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. Votes: 3 Wanda Sykes
It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely. Votes: 2 Nancy Gibbs
The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. Votes: 1 Joe Rogan
Chemistry's a funny thing. It can be instantaneous, but it helps when you know someone. Votes: 1 David Walton
Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny. Votes: 1 Mike Myers
I think 'Elf' is funny, with Will Ferrell. That's a great Christmas movie. Votes: 1 Robert Osborne
I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in Italy or the smell of an old greasy spoon somewhere. I like markets and little funny shops in the backstreets of Florence. Votes: 2 Ashley Jensen
It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park. Votes: 1 Jake Gyllenhaal
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one. Votes: 1 Wendy Liebman
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. Votes: 1 Will Ferrell
All the people who run agencies, all the important people in agencies have taken communication courses, marketing courses, advertising courses, and courses basically teach advertising as a science, and advertising is so far from a science it isn't even funny. Advertising is an art. Votes: 1 George Lois
I think it's funny because on 'Glee Project,' there's that added pressure, but with 'Glee,' there's no element of competition. No one's trying to dance better than anyone. But there's that added pressure of, 'So many people are going to watch 'Glee' this week. If I don't nail this dance, I look like an idiot.' Votes: 1 Samuel Larsen
If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about. Votes: 1 Matt Lucas
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes. Votes: 1 Scott Aukerman
It's just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious. Votes: 0 Adam McKay
The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London. Votes: 1 Jeremy Northam
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime. Votes: 3 Sam Ewing
When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. Votes: 1 David Chase
Maybe I think you're cute and funny. Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean. Votes: 3 Ingrid Michaelson
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat? Votes: 2 Tom Snyder
I suppose anybody just losing it and sputtering curses is pretty funny. But I think it would be more of a challenge, much more of a challenge, to make a cursing dad funny. Votes: 4 Ian Frazier
It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.' Votes: 2 Garrett Hedlund
I actually think the subject of young divorce is pretty funny; I'd like to write a movie about it. Votes: 1 Olivia Wilde
I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. Votes: 2 Peter Gallagher
I'm very physical. I'm extremely active, and I would love to do something a little more sexy and dangerous, a la Sophia Loren, or funny and humorous, a la Woody Allen. Getting to do things along those lines would be extremely wicked and a dream come true. Votes: 2 Azita Ghanizada
The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics and of how to apply them; Man, with his powers of reason, has reduced economics to the level of a farce which is at once funnier and more tragic than Tobacco Road. Votes: 1 James Thurber
Making movies was a real weird kind of adult experience. In a way it was like MIT, in that it was a great education. The big lesson is, people are people. They're smart, funny, creative people, but they're people. Votes: 1 Charlie Korsmo
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that. Votes: 1 Tracy Morgan
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny. Votes: 1 Jenny Eclair
I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life. Votes: 1 Kathryn Prescott
Female Chauvinist Pigs is smart, alarming, and extremely funny. With nuance and humor, Levy has written both a convincing expos of sex and desire in contemporary America and an important cultural history. I'm giving a copy to my mother. And my sons. Votes: 3 Cathleen Schine
I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. Votes: 1 Peter Gallagher
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. Votes: 2 Wanda Sykes
I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. Votes: 3 Peter Gallagher
Unfortunately, sometimes the fans forget who puts the money and passion into the club. It's funny, but when you win, it's the coach and the players who are responsible, but when you lose, it's the owner's fault; but that's football. Votes: 1 Andrea Della Valle
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things. Votes: 1 Adam Sandler
Pour it on up 'till I can't even think no more Get ratchet, go dumb then go more dumb then We can keep it lit, let's roll. Votes: 1 Tinashe
Being funny has always mattered a lot to me. It's why I started acting - to make my friends laugh. Votes: 3 Nick Wechsler
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself. Votes: 1 Olivia Wilde
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. Votes: 2 George Bernard Shaw
I find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams. But, like, everyone on the Red Sox is a random millionaire athlete from somewhere else. Votes: 1 Julian Casablancas
Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. Votes: 5 Tom Hiddleston
If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain. Votes: 1 Jimmy Reed
Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal. Votes: 2 George Will
I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA. Votes: 2 Shaquille O'Neal
When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier. Votes: 2 Diane von Furstenberg
Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends who are French, Australian, English and American; a very weird mix. Votes: 3 Caroline Winberg
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' Votes: 1 Larry David
I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. Votes: 5 Matt LeBlanc
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. Votes: 2 Ernest Hemingway
I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. Votes: 4 Dav Pilkey
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. Votes: 3 Lucy Liu
It was hard doing scenes with Bobby Cannavale because I would break up laughing because he's so funny. Votes: 3 Peter Dinklage
I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny. Votes: 1 Ryan Stiles
Knowing all the languages in the world could help you to really understand all the jokes you can hear... from my future Kids' Funny Business. Votes: 3 Ivan Stoikov
When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny but sad at the same time. Votes: 4 Sophie Wu
I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true. Votes: 4 Edmund Hillary
I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man. Votes: 1 Cat Deeley
I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons. Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy. Votes: 2 Alex Hirsch
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. Votes: 2 Dave Barry
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Votes: 2 Jay Leno
For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy. Votes: 1 George A. Romero
One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp. Votes: 2 Matt Labash
No comedian's wife thinks he's funny. The first few years of the marriage, maybe. I was funny as hell the first couple of years. Votes: 1 Tom Smothers
When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. Votes: 1 David Chase
My ideal prom date would have to be cute, funny, sweet, nice. Votes: 1 Kendall Jenner
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. Votes: 2 Bill Cosby
I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. Votes: 2 Paula Pell
I've always tried to come up with funny dancing since I was young, to attract girls' attention for one thing. It's got to be funny. I can't pull it off with serious dances. That's not me. Votes: 3 Psy
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. Votes: 2 Rodney Dangerfield
Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living. Votes: 1 Pauly Shore
That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife. Votes: 1 Moby
I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. Votes: 2 Peter Gallagher
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. Votes: 1 Demetri Martin
I only have three scenes and each is a turn and she gets progressively drunker. It's all terribly funny and its main challenge is that it's so far away from what I usually do. Votes: 1 Louise Jameson
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair. Votes: 4 Kate Bosworth
A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it's the facial expression, you laugh. The laugh doesn't wear off. It could be with you for thirty years. Votes: 1 Eli Roth
I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. Votes: 4 Audrey Hepburn
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least Votes: 1 Robert Byrne
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. Votes: 7 Wanda Sykes
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. Votes: 2 Plutarch
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. Votes: 2 Elbert Hubbard
Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed of, so I'm really grateful. My friendships really go from the West to the East. You'd be amazed at some of the people I call friends. Votes: 0 BeBe Winans
It became a gamble to myself whether I was able to do the exact same film ["Funny Games"]under very different circumstances. Votes: 4 Michael Haneke
I used to like Barbra Streisand films. It was Funny Girl that really turned me on, in a sense, to acting. I remember it specifically being a rainy Saturday afternoon. I couldnt play football, so I stayed in, and I watched Funny Girl. Votes: 4 Sean Harris
Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love. Votes: 3 Jack Nicholson
It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy once said that he liked me until he found out that I wear glasses. Votes: 1 Danielle Panabaker
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. Votes: 2 Meister Eckhart
When I made coffee and Xeroxed and distributed newspapers at ABC News, I thought my life was over. Votes: 3 Katie Couric
Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored. Votes: 4 Bob Saget
I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too. Votes: 3 Laura Prepon
I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. Votes: 4 Megan Fox
Maybe people don't see me as believable playing a person of today. I guess I'm just more realistic in a corset and funny hairstyles. Votes: 3 Katie McGrath
Happiness isn't a fortune in a cookie. It's deeper, wider, funnier, and more transporting than that. Votes: 1 Elvis Costello
Wherever you find 'men together' - writing the rules, as at exclusive golf or other men's clubs, businesses, and lodges where they wear elaborate robes and funny hats - women are kept completely outside if possible and, when grudgingly admitted, to highly restricted areas or token status. Votes: 3 Eugene Kennedy
It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely. Votes: 3 Nancy Gibbs
You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor. Like Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell got that kind of humor. Votes: 3 Redman
It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. Votes: 1 Regina King
People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas. Votes: 4 Mindy Kaling
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. Votes: 3 Dale Carnegie
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes. Votes: 4 Fred Allen
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. Votes: 2 Ellen DeGeneres
I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school. Votes: 2 Godfrey
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. Votes: 2 W. C. Fields
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Votes: 2 Carl Sagan
And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy. Votes: 1 Fran Drescher
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Votes: 2 Mark Twain
We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. Votes: 3 Sheena Easton
People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. Votes: 3 Mark Ruffalo
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Votes: 2 Rita Rudner
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Votes: 2 Ruth Graham
I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio. Votes: 3 George Carlin
I had funny memories, too, but the music was more important to me than anything else. Votes: 3 Lita Ford
I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane. Votes: 1 Kaskade
Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre, he could be a very funny man to work with, always telling jokes and holding court. Of course, when I worked with Charlie he was getting older. Votes: 2 Tippi Hedren
I think when someone who's known for doing drama does a comedy but just tries to be funny, that's a mistake. Votes: 1 Steve Carell
I love to do comedy, and I don't think of things as drama or comedy. I think that if it's a funny line, it's a funny line. If it's a funny moment, it's a funny moment. Votes: 4 Kathy Baker
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. Votes: 2 Rainn Wilson
I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. Votes: 2 Paula Pell
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the 'gotta have it' scale. Votes: 2 Zig Ziglar
John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning. Votes: 1 Richard Widmark
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Votes: 2 Robert Frost
Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. Votes: 2 Jennette McCurdy
I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around. Votes: 2 Olivia Munn
Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women. Votes: 2 Zooey Deschanel
My parents were funny. My brothers were funny. We just laughed and had a good time. Growing up, it breeds that. It breeds your funny. It breeds your creativity. Votes: 2 Kym Whitley
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. Votes: 1 Seth Meyers
Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible. Votes: 6 Jonah Hill
I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. Votes: 2 Rob Lowe
My studio, nicknamed 'Funny Farm,' is in a hidden location. It's very private. Not only do I create my photography there, but it is also where I write my books and create music. Votes: 1 Nikki Sixx
Procrastination always gives you something to look forward to. Votes: 2 Joan Konner
Miss Celia stares down into the pot like she's looking for her future. "Are you happy, Minny?" "Why you ask me funny questions like that?" "But are you?" "Course I's happy. You happy too. Big house, big yard, husband looking after you." I frown at Miss Celia and I make sure she can see it. Because ain't that white people for you, wondering if they are happy ENOUGH. Votes: 2 Kathryn Stockett
A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough. Votes: 1 Bruce Nash
Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. Votes: 2 Leo Buscaglia
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. Votes: 1 Rick Baker
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Votes: 2 Charles Lamb
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. Votes: 1 Jean Baudrillard
The general public doesn't expect romance authors to be Harvard graduates. Which is funny, because there are actually quite a lot of us. But this disconnect means that journalists see me as an interesting story. The tricky part is making sure they understand that there are many, many talented writers who don't have 'fancy' educations. Votes: 1 Julia Quinn
I tweet from bed. I love it because it's so quick. And it's funny. But it also leaves a lot of room for error because new people don't sense the sarcasm - there's no sarcasm font. Votes: 1 Christine Teigen
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. Votes: 2 Carl Jung
You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. Votes: 2 Jon Lovitz
I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose. Votes: 3 James Patterson
Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it. Votes: 2 Albert Einstein
Seeing the funny side of life is useful, and I've always had a sense of humour. Votes: 3 Henry Allingham
My parents are a bedrock. And I have three complex, strong, and funny sisters who inspire and sustain me. Votes: 3 Christina Baker Kline
I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations. Votes: 4 Daniel Craig
It does not mean you are not awesome, if no one ever appreciates your beauty. But I can see that, in your juicy eyes, funny smiles and innocent face. And I am telling you now; you are exceptionally beautiful and awesome. Votes: 3 M.F. Moonzajer
I longed for funny stories about the sort of children who lived in my neighborhood. Votes: 4 Beverly Cleary
I was a good student, sort of funny and athletic. I had friends. Votes: 1 Rosemary Mahoney
I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned. Votes: 4 Michael Bay
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. Votes: 4 Demetri Martin
I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off. Votes: 1 Mark Billingham
I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off. Votes: 1 Mark Billingham
Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. Votes: 3 Jim Davis
The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest. Votes: 2 William Blake
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. Votes: 2 William Arthur Ward
Love is the only antidote for the insanity of this world. And the funny thing about love is that when someone loves you, it doesn't necessarily make you feel better; but when you love someone else, it does. Votes: 3 Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount Cherwell
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Votes: 4 Dr. Seuss
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. Votes: 1 Reba McEntire
Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. Votes: 1 Beth Ditto
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Votes: 2 Charles Spurgeon
I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them. Votes: 1 Liam Hemsworth
It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever. Votes: 3 Hannah Simone
I make funny videos of me playing video games, and I share those moments. Votes: 3 PewDiePie
We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. Votes: 2 Sheena Easton
It's funny, because readers think they want the characters to be blissfully happy, but it makes it kind of boring for the reader. Votes: 1 L.A. Weatherly
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers. Votes: 2 Richard Pryor
But it was this tough little character part that I was playing, a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend, because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing. And I had to do something. Votes: 1 Dabney Coleman
Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. Votes: 1 Norman Wisdom
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. Votes: 2 Christopher Morley
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. Votes: 2 Richard Russo
A funny thing about near-future stories: the future catches up to them. If the author is unlucky, the future catches up faster than the book can get out the door. Votes: 1 Edward M. Lerner
It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. Votes: 1 Regina King
And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up. Votes: 1 Nigella Lawson
The funny thing in France is that writers are not allowed to retire, because the French government say you are still earning money from books you wrote 20 years ago. Votes: 1 Peter Mayle
I've done so many funny jobs. I worked at a farmer's market through high school. I worked in the stock room of Ralph Lauren. I graduated to salesperson at Ralph Lauren, which was a big deal to me. I've been a P.A. I've been a stand-in. I've been an assistant's assistant. Votes: 2 Allison Williams
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. Votes: 1 Jeff Ross
I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports. Votes: 1 Michael Patrick Jann
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on. Votes: 3 Lauren Graham
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair. Votes: 1 Kate Bosworth
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. Votes: 1 Jean Baudrillard
Happiness isn't a fortune in a cookie. It's deeper, wider, funnier, and more transporting than that. Votes: 1 Elvis Costello
It's so funny that people specify that year because in a way it was the biggest battle for me health wise. Votes: 1 Brady Anderson
It's a bit like school camp, shooting a film. Everyone's on heat. It's a strange energy. It's full of adrenalin. I funnel my excess energy in funny little ways. I do a lot of dancing in my trailer. I love music. Votes: 1 Alice Englert
Our family's special holiday tradition is going over to my grandparent's house on Christmas morning. My grandma cooks a big breakfast, and I love hearing her tell old funny stories. Votes: 1 Caroline Sunshine
I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. Votes: 2 Carrot Top
When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we'll be funnier to look at than to read. Votes: 3 Sinclair Lewis
I've had very bleak experiences in hospitals, but they were also sometimes very funny. Votes: 1 Peter Capaldi
We've turned off all the lights in the living room to make hand shadows. We've got this big flashlight aimed at the wall. I make the silhouette of my hand into a duck. Robin makes his into a rabbit. Now my duck kisses his rabbit And-POOF!- it turns into a turkey. And for some reason this strikes us as hysterically funny. But you probably had to be there. Votes: 2 Sonya Sones
It's funny because before I joined the cast of 'Heroes,' I was an insomniac. I have suffered from insomnia for, like, so long. Now that I'm on the show, seriously - I sleep like a baby. I'm so tired all the time. Votes: 1 Dana Davis
You have to make a lot of sacrifices, and the main thing you have to sacrifice is your privacy. It's funny because when I was growing up, my daddy was and still is an insurance agent in our home town. He couldn't go anywhere without somebody recognizing him or needing something from him. Votes: 1 Josh Turner
It find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams. Votes: 4 Julian Casablancas
Somebody said, 'Get your agent to call the new Bob Cummings show. They're looking for a funny lady.' Within three hours, I had the job. That was January 1955. I had such fun with that show. Votes: 1 Ann B. Davis
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' Votes: 2 Louis C. K.
I don't think I'm an intentional liar, but I'm a little bit of an exaggerator sometimes. If I'm exaggerating, and the journalist exaggerates on top of that, then we end up in funny territory. Votes: 1 Autre Ne Veut
I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred. Votes: 1 Harold Brodkey
Until now, until I actually got into law class, I just never thought of it as being an interest for me, but it's really funny because now that I'm in law, I'm like 'Wow, I could be a lawyer. Votes: 1 Lisa Leslie
If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny. Votes: 1 Mary Douglas
I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages. Votes: 1 Casey Wilson
My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother being so mechanical-minded. My father always wanted to be a doctor, but he came from a really poor family in Georgia, and there was no way he was going to be a doctor. Votes: 1 Herbie Hancock
I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day. Votes: 1 Magic Johnson
Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow. Votes: 2 Tobias Wolff
John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning. Votes: 1 Richard Widmark
Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny. Votes: 2 Jim Gaffigan
People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?' Votes: 2 Al Yankovic
When I'm doing a drama, I wish I was doing something funny. When I'm doing something funny, I wish I was doing something more serious. I think it's just human nature. Votes: 1 Alan Ruck
At the beginning of 'Will and Grace', I played Jack as the funny next-door-neighbor type, as we've seen in the past. And I thought that was my role. Votes: 1 Sean Hayes
I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn't that funny? The tables have turned. Votes: 1 Kristen Bell
Somebody said, 'Get your agent to call the new Bob Cummings show. They're looking for a funny lady.' Within three hours, I had the job. That was January 1955. I had such fun with that show. Votes: 1 Ann B. Davis
Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for the show we're doing at Joe's Pub, so it's kind of fun to get down and rehearse new things, and also rethink some of the older songs, how we're going to do them. Votes: 1 Lesley Gore
It find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams. Votes: 1 Julian Casablancas
My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. Votes: 1 Barry Marshall
If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports. Votes: 1 Ed Rendell
My parents were funny. My brothers were funny. We just laughed and had a good time. Growing up, it breeds that. It breeds your funny. It breeds your creativity. Votes: 2 Kym Whitley
It's funny with jeans now, because if they don't feel like a pair of sweatpants, I don't have patience for them anymore! I think I'm becoming increasingly lazy. Votes: 1 Claire Danes
I love being a mum. Sophia is so funny and has a great personality. Votes: 1 Abbey Clancy
I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I know that that offends other philosophers; they think he's not taking things seriously, but he comes up with some marvellous puns. Why shouldn't you have a bit of fun while dealing with the deepest issues of the mind? Votes: 1 Alan Moore
It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. Votes: 1 Gertrude Stein
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking. Votes: 1 Guy Pearce
I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can I do to make things better? There are some perks to being a celebrity. My job is to be funny once in a while, but it's my responsibility to make good use of it. Votes: 1 Angela Kinsey
Being funny, in some ways, is about being connected to psychology. Votes: 1 Noah Baumbach
What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron. Votes: 1 Dianna Agron
I like to invest as a performer in the director's vision and then bring a sense of reality to whatever I'm doing, whether it's comedy or whether it's drama, and trust that they're going to tell me if something's reading as funny or if it's reading as dramatic or reading in the right tone. Votes: 1 Amy Seimetz
A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. Votes: 1 Barbara Corcoran
Like a cartoon world, where the figures are flat and outlined in black, jerking through some kind of goofy story that might be real funny if it weren't for the cartoon figures being real guys... Votes: 2 Ken Kesey
A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough. Votes: 1 Bruce Nash
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. Votes: 1 Rick Baker
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. Votes: 1 P. J. O'Rourke
The general public doesn't expect romance authors to be Harvard graduates. Which is funny, because there are actually quite a lot of us. But this disconnect means that journalists see me as an interesting story. The tricky part is making sure they understand that there are many, many talented writers who don't have 'fancy' educations. Votes: 1 Julia Quinn
I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose. Votes: 1 James Patterson
I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go, Dog. Go!,' thinking, 'Oh yeah, that's funny. I'd like to do that.' And then writing throughout school, but at the same time I was studying pre-med stuff, because my mom told me I should be a doctor. Votes: 1 Jon Scieszka
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' Votes: 1 Isaac Asimov
It's funny to be discovered by a lot of people who didn't know you before. People always used to say, 'Do you shop at Home Depot?' or 'Does your kid go to such and such school?' They want to know why they know me, even if they don't know my name. I don't think that's a bad thing, by the way; I think it's nice to be kind of anonymously famous. Votes: 2 Terry O'Quinn
My parents are both really, really funny, and my little sister is a really good painter, and my other sister is a really good writer. Votes: 1 Michael Cera
I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone? Votes: 4 Tom Brady
My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile. Votes: 1 Terry Farrell
Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to be hurtful on social media. But I think it's kind of funny. There's a lot of things that make me laugh, that people would try and say those things. I mean, there's some that I can't even retweet or respond to just because of how bad it is. Votes: 2 Rickie Fowler
Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny. Votes: 1 Will Eisner
Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? Votes: 1 Kris Holden-Ried
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? Votes: 1 Norm MacDonald
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. Votes: 1 William Feather
It's funny, because in drama school, my greatest strength was my range. So my early career was like that: I played all kinds of different characters. Votes: 1 Lance Reddick
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl. Votes: 1 Al Michaels
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking. Votes: 1 Guy Pearce
Teaching someone to be funny is like teaching someone to be fast. They're already fast. You're just making them faster. Votes: 2 Ali Farahnakian
Definitely, I think I fulfill a very funny Indian stereotype because I love technology. It's something I've always been interested in. Votes: 1 Manish Dayal
Tennis is a funny game, and it takes a life-time of keeping one's eyes open on the circuit to have any chance of understanding the strange phenomena that exist in our exciting sport! Votes: 1 Sania Mirza
It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever. Votes: 1 Hannah Simone
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. Votes: 2 David Ogilvy
I'm not a fussy eater, but when I'm travelling, I try to stick to the same regime and just have my chicken and my mash and broccoli. Otherwise, you start eating all these funny delicacies, and it makes your tummy turn upside down. Votes: 1 Ella Henderson
The Simpsons are ugly-looking, and they should be. That's what works. That's one of the things that's funny. Votes: 1 Seth MacFarlane
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore. Votes: 1 Yakov Smirnoff
Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny. Votes: 1 Tracy Morgan
My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. Votes: 1 Ian Hislop
I just love carbs. And when I'm on vacation I definitely allow myself carbs, so it's always funny when people are like, 'Oh my gosh, you look great in your bikini.' I'm like, 'If you only knew what I had for breakfast!' Votes: 1 Ashley Tisdale
It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever. Votes: 1 Hannah Simone
While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas. Votes: 1 J. R. Moehringer
The music in Haiti is all tied up in voodoo and African rhythm, and so there's this funny thing: go to a voodoo ceremony, and then go to a Catholic church and tell me which music you liked better, to which one the music is more integral. Votes: 1 Win Butler
I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school? Votes: 1 Cecily Strong
It's funny, because readers think they want the characters to be blissfully happy, but it makes it kind of boring for the reader. Votes: 1 L.A. Weatherly
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny. Votes: 1 Bryan White
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny. Votes: 1 Bryan White
For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents. Votes: 2 James Herriot
Wine is similar to music in that it's a purely experiential realm, and it's a purely subjective practice. That's sort of the funny thing about wine criticism or, for that matter, music criticism. At times, those are useful guides, but ultimately it's all about how you react to that music or wine. Votes: 1 Mike D
Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. Votes: 1 Norman Wisdom
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. Votes: 2 Richard Russo
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny. Votes: 2 Alan King