If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Votes: 2
Robin WilliamsOne advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening. Votes: 2
Franklin P. JonesIf you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. Votes: 2
Alice Roosevelt LongworthYou have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. Votes: 2
Winston ChurchillPeople who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Votes: 2
Isaac AsimovThat's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Votes: 2
George CarlinSuppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. Votes: 2
Mark TwainAll my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. Votes: 2
Jane WagnerI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Votes: 2
Winston ChurchillA bush-warbler,Coming to the verandah-edge,Left its droppingsOn the rice-cakes. Votes: 1
Matsuo Bash?BirdsWe are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. Votes: 1
W. H. AudenMy doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more Votes: 1
Walter MatthauYou only become funny when you have a complete reverence for life. Votes: 0
Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount CherwellIt's funny how you can be mad at someone one moment and want to hug them the next.
Anne Morrow LindberghI just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.
Charles M. SchulzLife has a funny way of helping you out when you think that everything's gone wrong.
Alanis MorissetteFunny how the last thing we want the world to see is almost the first thing to show.
Courtney SummersIts a funny thing Alice, dying is just the way I composed it in Tod und Verklärung.
Richard StraussIt was funny, though, the things you didn't learn about people until after they died.
Cynthia Leitich SmithYou can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
Elaine StritchLoyalty was a funny thing. So was love. They both bit you when you least expected it.
Jodi Lynn Anderson