Top quotes by Ben Stein

I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy. Votes: 46

Wow, bad news. Mr. Obama now hates Israel because the Israelis want to build 1,600 apartments in their own capital city, Jerusalem. Russia hates Israel, too. So do the Europeans. So does Ban Ki-moon, a Korean who is secretary-general of the UN. Votes: 35

Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows. Votes: 34

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny. Votes: 28

Usually I am not a conspiracy theorist. I don't believe in the Bilderbergers as a conspiracy or the Trilateralists. But I am certain that the Communists killed JFK. There is a super great book called 'Legend' by Edward Jay Epstein that makes it all perfectly clear. Votes: 22

My pals, such as they are, in Hollywood, ask me why I love to travel to D.C. so much, why it's a vacation destination for me. I say, 'Because I sometimes have perfect days there.' Votes: 15

My parents, products of the Great Depression, were successful people, but lived in a state of constant fear that my sister and I, and they, would sink into the kind of economic insecurity that their generation knew so well. Votes: 15

My 'thing' is that I just lie in my immense bed and look out the window at the skyline over Virginia and the sky and the airplanes coming into Reagan. I really love doing that. Votes: 15

Israel being condemned by the EU, which 66 years ago watched with glee as its Jews were being mass murdered. That is pretty rich. Votes: 14

Darwinism doesn't explain where gravity comes from. It doesn't explain where thermodynamics comes from. It doesn't explain where the laws of physics come from. It doesn't explain where matter came from. Votes: 14

I thought that all of the sacrifices and blessings of the whole history of mankind have devolved upon me. Thank you, God. Votes: 14

Jump into the middle of things, get your hands dirty, fall flat on your face, and then reach for the stars. Votes: 13

I agree that there are some bad apples on Wall Street. I spent about ten years exposing corporate and financial fraud for 'Barron's' magazine and I found a lot to write about. Votes: 12

If we are just specks of dust hit by lightning, if we have no spark of God in us, why not just take whatever we can and devil take the hindmost? I mean, we are fools not to do that if there is no right or wrong. Votes: 12

Greed is a basic part of animal nature. Being against it is like being against breathing or eating. It means nothing. Votes: 11

People ask how I can be a conservative and still want higher taxes. It makes my head spin, and I guess it shows how old I am. But I thought that conservatives were supposed to like balanced budgets. I thought it was the conservative position to not leave heavy indebtedness to our grandchildren. Votes: 11

Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will. Votes: 10

If you can't stand the heat, don't go to Cancun in the summer. Votes: 10

Sleep more at night. If it's allowed at work or home, take a nap in the afternoon. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel. Votes: 9

I think Darwinism as a theory explaining evolution within species is incredibly brilliant - just unbelievably, incredibly brilliant. Votes: 9

I don't believe the most successful people are the ones who got the best grades, got into the best schools, or made the most money. Votes: 9

Traders can cause short-term volatility. In the long run, the market must revert to a sensible price/earnings multiple. Votes: 8

It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated... it is finished when it surrenders. Votes: 7

You must take the first step. The first steps will take some effort, maybe pain. But after that, everything that has to be done is real-life movement. Votes: 7

If you want to fight the evil you see in finance and industry, get to work reading the corporate filings, see if there has been fraud, and where you find it, report it to the SEC or write about it or blog about it. Votes: 6

I love sleeping in a moving car more than sleeping in bed. Votes: 6

The education system should teach us about money; it's an incredibly big subject. I run into people all the time that don't have the first clue of what they should do about money. Votes: 5

I don't really consider myself to be a personal finance expert compared with some others. There are quite a few that know a lot more than I do. Votes: 5

For me, I've always believed that there was a God. I've always believed that God created the heavens and earth - so, for me it's not a huge leap from there to intelligent design. Votes: 5

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over gain, and you will grow stronger until have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember. Votes: 1

As Beverly Hills becomes more Iranian-Jewish, it is becoming politically conservative. Votes: 0

It isn't the rich people's fault that poor people are poor. Poor people who get an education and work hard in this country will stop being poor. That should be the goal for all poor people everywhere. Votes: 0

If there is no God, why bother to tell the truth? Why not steal? Votes: 0

I was a trial lawyer. At the same time, I was a teacher. I taught about the political and social content of film for American University. Then I left and became a teacher at the University of California at Santa Cruz. I taught about the political and social content of film, but I also taught a course in law for undergraduates. Votes: 0

If Iran and North Korea, by some horrible, devilish, nightmarish scenario, got together and went to war at the same time, one against Saudi Arabia and one against South Korea, I don't know what we would do about that. I don't know that we could stop them short of using nuclear weapons. Votes: 0

I'm an economist by training. I don't really work as an economist. I only worked briefly as an economist. Votes: 0

People getting rich in a free society in general - with some scammy exceptions, which are rare - makes everyone else richer, too. Votes: 0

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. Votes: 0

When Hollywood sees a good story about a man who sells confidence, they see themselves and they like it. Votes: 0

If there is no God, then man sometimes thinks he is god, and sometimes tries to live like a god. Votes: 0

You can do what you think you can do and you cannot do what you think you cannot. Votes: 0

It is so great to sleep in safe, glorious, beautiful America. I just cannot get over it. Votes: 0

Hollywood is largely about scammers and con men. It was my main livelihood for about 25 years, and the scams were beautiful and ugly, cheap and expensive, but, wow, were there a lot of scammers. Votes: 0

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. Votes: 0

A corporation's responsibility is to the shareholders, not its retirees and employees. Companies are doing everything they can to get rid of pension plans and they will succeed. Votes: 0

I am so in love with just lying in bed listening to Mozart. Votes: 0

As to a media personality, well that just happened in large measure because people found me amusing, and I did lots and lots of T.V. news interview shows. Votes: 0

If we try to engineer outcomes, if we overturn tradition to make everyone the same, we ruin society. If we upset tradition to allow for an equal shot at the starting gate, everyone wins, except for the charlatans and would be dictators. Votes: 0

Nothing happens by itself... it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions. Votes: 0

When are American Jews going to realize that the Republican Party is far better for Israel than the Democrats? Votes: 0

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. Votes: 0

It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions. Votes: 0

Every soul deserves a shot at a Cadillac, but not everyone should be guaranteed a Cadillac. Votes: 0

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Votes: 0

Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place- science leads you to killing people. Votes: 0

The people who did the collateralized mortgage obligations, sold them to pension funds, then sold them short, then bought credit default swap insurance on them, are just amazing. They are a law unto themselves. Votes: 0

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. Votes: 0

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... But not everyone must prove they are a citizen. Votes: 0

I cannot tell you ... how to be rich. But I can tell you how to feel rich, which is far better, let me tell you firsthand, than being rich. Be grateful... It is the only totally reliable get rich quick scheme. Votes: 0

The first step in getting what you want from life-decide what you want. Votes: 0

I don't consider an actor a star if he's paid $20 million and grimaces in front of the camera and has a stunt man stand in for him. They may be fine actors, but they're not role models. The real stars are wearing body armor in 130-degree heat . . . They're getting shot at and they don't have any stunt doubles standing in for them. Votes: 0

We are mortgaging ourselves to foreigners on a scale that would make George Washington cry. Every day - every single day - we borrow a billion dollars from foreigners to buy petroleum from abroad, often from countries that hate us. We are the beggars of the world, financing our lavish lifestyle by selling our family heirlooms and by enslaving our progeny with the need to service the debt. Votes: 0

[I did] Some [reading to prep for Expelled]. I read one book cover to cover, From Darwin to Hitler , and that was a very interesting book--one of these rare books I wish had been even longer. It's about how Darwin 's theory--supposedly concocted by this mild-mannered saintly man, with a flowing white beard like Santa Claus--led to the murder of millions of innocent people. Votes: 0

Americans are terrified because so many of them have been laid off in recent years and months and they fear that they may be next. Even if they have not been laid off or have not known anyone laid off, they definitely know someone who has lost his home. Votes: 0

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. Votes: 0

Evolutionism, as taught by Darwinism, has nothing - nothing - to say about how life originated. Has nothing to say about how the governing principles in the universe - gravity, thermodynamics, motion, fluid motion - how any of those originated. It's...it's got some gigantic missing pieces. Votes: 0

Being a Daddy is priority number one. When you are old and facing oblivion in a nursing home or a hospital or on a golf course in winter, you are not going to wish you had spent more time at the office or making a sales call or watching a show. You will wish you had spent more time with your family. Votes: 0

Prime-time network television has become an island without religion in an ever-more-religious America. Votes: 0

I don't think Wall Street people in general are smart. I think that's one of the biggest myths in American lore. They're tough, aggressive, greedy, quick thinking but I don't think they're particularly smart at all. Votes: 0

It's really amazing that in the age of unbelief, as a smart man called it, there isn't even more fraud. After all, with no God, there's no one to ever call you to account, and no accounting at all if you can get away with it. Votes: 0

The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy Votes: 0

Trying to pick individual stocks is a trap. I can't do it. Warren Buffett can, but hardly anyone else can beat the indexes over a long period of time. Votes: 0

Yes, Americans can still get credit for cars and trucks and refrigerators, and those businesses are doing well. But just try to get a home loan now. Votes: 0

The sad fact is that spending rises every year, no matter what people want or say they want. Votes: 0

I'm not a Mensa member. I have no idea where that rumor came from. I never have been, and I doubt if I ever will be. Votes: 0

If there are finer beings than German short hairs, I don't know what they are. In their eyes is peace. Votes: 0

When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, 'Just go to sleep.' Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how smart Knight was. Votes: 0

I always assumed scientists were free to ask any question, pursue any line of inquiry without fear or reprisal. Votes: 0

I spend so much time in fear of going broke, and I never have been even remotely close to going broke. Votes: 0

The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy. Votes: 0

Politics is a thankless occupation; I have no interest in it at all. Votes: 0

Darwinism doesn't explain where gravity comes from. It doesn't explain where thermodynamics comes from. It doesn't explain where the laws of physics come from. It doesn't explain where matter comes from. Votes: 0

After all the black man has been through in this world, he can still often reach levels of spirituality the most pampered white man cannot touch. Maybe what he's been through is the reason why. Votes: 0

Sleep makes people calmer, more alert, less fearful - just plain happier, or so I see around me and in me. I am sure that if this great nation were to concentrate on getting more sleep, we would be a happier, more confident people, and that by itself would be a major achievement. Votes: 0

I have to tell you I never in my life anticipated getting this old, this fast. It seems as if I were 25 just a few days ago. Votes: 0

Emperor Sid Caesar is gone to eternity himself now. He takes with him the gratitude of every one of us who first learned the relief of laughter from this genuinely great performer. Votes: 0

So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin. Votes: 0

The banks are not lending, at least from what I see. They were so wild and reckless back in the good times that they got burned terribly. Votes: 0

I think it's criminal how little people in the military are paid. These are people out risking their lives, taken away from their families for long periods of time. I think they should be paid dramatically more than they're paid. Votes: 0

I am so used to having a comfortable life. What will it be like when I am no longer able to just buy anything I want? Votes: 0

I have always been very concerned that Darwinism gave the basic okay to terrible racism and to the idea of murder based upon race. Votes: 0

Academic freedom is being lost by a great many people who dare to challenge Darwinism. That's a terrifying situation. That's contrary to the principles of science. Votes: 0

Science should always be in the business of attempting to disprove itself. Votes: 0

I'd say the main way people get into terrible financial trouble is just to spend too much money relative to their income, and that is an endemic problem in the United States of America, and that's the kind of thing that should be taught about in schools. Votes: 0

We are not supposed to be all equal. Let's just forget that. We are supposed to have equal rights under law. If we do that, we have done enough. Votes: 0

Running a real business is exacting, daunting, repetitive work. Even in Silicon Valley. Votes: 0

We're a lazy, undisciplined generation. I don't exempt myself: I spend way too much, even though I make a good income. Votes: 0

I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Votes: 0

It's a great stretch for me to do my game show. It's very hard. It's not me at all. The only part that's me is sort of when I'm sitting in the booth looking tormented. That's the only part that's the real me. Votes: 0

The America that we knew as the smartest place on the planet is gone with the wind. Votes: 0

I am scared of running out of money. Votes: 0

This is my life. I love it. Votes: 0

I am scared of getting old. I am scared of being ill. Votes: 0

The ordinary American - as far as I can tell - knows so much less than he did fifty years ago and has such poor work habits compared with fifty years ago that the average multiplicand of knowledge/capabilities is a much smaller number than it was in 1961. Votes: 0

And now, any of those who refuse, or are unable, to prove they are citizens will receive free insurance paid for by those who are forced to buy insurance because they are citizens. Votes: 0

Darwinism is still very much alive, utterly dominating biology. Despite the fact that no one has ever been able to prove the creation of a single distinct species by Darwinist means, Darwinism dominates the academy and the media. Votes: 0

Yes, [I spent] two long years, traveling all over the United States, all over Europe, interviewing many, many, many people who had been thrown out of their academic jobs because they taught that there was a possibility of life coming from something other than Darwinism, who thought that possibly random selection and mutations didn't account for the universe, didn't account for gravity, didn't account for why nobody had ever seen an individual species evolve -- no one's ever seen an individual species evolve! Votes: 0

Every morning, I get up, get out of bed, and get on my knees and thank God for waking up in America ... (She is) the light of the world ... A nation of heroes ... The real stars are wearing body armor on top of their battle dress uniforms in 130 degree heat and they do not have stunt doubles to come in for them when the going gets rough and the bullets and the shrapnel start flying. They are the real stars, fighting terrorism and trying to free a nation. Votes: 0

For any exam in history, here is the answer: all human history is the struggle between systems that attempt to shackle the human personality in the name of some intangible good on the one hand and systems that enable and expand the scope of human personality in the pursuit of extremely tangible aims. The American system is the most successful in the world because it harmonizes best with the aims and longings of human personality while allowing the best protection to other personalities. Votes: 0

Neo-Darwinists ask us to believe in things not seen. We're not supposed to have an established religion in America, but we do, and it's called Darwinism . Votes: 0

But when I talk to people who are Darwinists or evolutionists and say, 'Well, how did life begin' -- they're...they don't have an answer. I mean, they have an answer, but it's a BS answer. It's an answer that wouldn't make sense to a small child. Votes: 0

Science leads you to killing people. Votes: 0

I've never liked the idea of just having an office in a college somewhere and teaching classes and going to the library and doing research all day. I've never wanted that. The glamorous life is the life that appeals to me. Votes: 0

It's a lot better to hope than not to. Votes: 0

The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is. Votes: 0

I am about to vote. I am about to do something that human beings are rarely allowed to do. I am doing something that did not exist until America. Votes: 0

You can do what you think you can do and you cannot do what you think you cannot Votes: 0

You cannot win if you're not at the table. You have to be where the action is. Votes: 0

Israel is our strongest, most reliable ally in the Middle East. Of course, we're their most reliable ally, too. Votes: 0

Put simply, the rich pay a lot of taxes as a total percentage of taxes collected, but they don't pay a lot of taxes as a percentage of what they can afford to pay, or as a percentage of what the government needs to close the deficit gap. Votes: 0

The poor black people in it make the black people in Gone With the Wind look like Malcolm X. Votes: 0

Could Congress really do its work if it held its sessions by teleconferencing? Could the Supreme Court? Nothing can replace the spark of intelligence that travels from person to person at meetings. Votes: 0

I don't like the sound of all the lists he's making. Votes: 0

I tell you why I don't think I will ever vote for a Democrat, if I may say so. Because for me, the number one issue is right to life, and I don't think the Democrats are very good on the right-to-life issue. Votes: 0

We in the media are just people with all of people's faults. Votes: 0

It means zero to be against greed. Votes: 0

If there's a recession, I'd buy stocks. That's when you make money: when markets are spooked. Votes: 0

Humans are alive, therefore life must be complex. Votes: 0

What the White House is trying to do is racialize all politics and they're especially trying to tell the African-American voter that the GOP is against letting them have a chance at a good life in this economy, and that's just a complete lie, Votes: 0

I mean it used to be, there was a time … when lynchings of African Americans were not that incredibly rare. Now the lynchings are the police and it's just an outrage. Votes: 0

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it sis my duty ... This is my highest and best use as a human. Votes: 0

So, who in the media is without sin among us? I am in the media and I am a major league sinner. I don't know anyone except my wife who isn't a big time sinner. Votes: 0

There is no sudden leap into the stratosphere... There is only advancing step by step, slowly and tortuously, up the pyramid toward your goals... Votes: 0

Life lived to help others is the only life that matters. Votes: 0

No one will do it for you. Votes: 0

I am back in LA now. And I keep thinking back to my time in New York after the bombings.... I was crying so much I could not see, and the other diners joined in, and I thought, What do you do with such atheistic evil? Votes: 0

There's no evidence whatsoever that Darwin had anything useful to say or anything to say period about how life began or how the universe began or how gravity began or how physics began or fluid motion or how thermodynamics began. He had nothing to say about that whatsoever. Votes: 0

Men and women succeed because they find a field of endeavor that matches their interests and abilities. Votes: 0

When we just saw that man, I think it was Mr. Myers, talking about how great scientists were, I was thinking to myself the last time any of my relatives saw scientists telling them what to do they were telling them to go to the showers to get gassed ... that was horrifying beyond words, and that's where science in my opinion, this is just an opinion that's where science leads you. Votes: 0

And there hasn't been much progress in Darwinism since [the life of Darwin]. Votes: 0

I hope it won't come as a surprise to anyone that a big part of male homosexual behavior is interest in young boys. Votes: 0

My feeling is that Darwinism is only at best a partial solution, and an extremely dangerous partial solution. I would say, based on the little I know, Darwinism explains microevolution within species quite well. As to its broader consequence and implications, I don't think it explains individual species evolution at all well. Votes: 0

I think a snob would be a person who thinks he is entitled; he has good things in his life and is entitled to them. Votes: 0

I think, there are many people who are much smarter than I am, and many, many, many who are much harder-working than I am, but in terms of the range of my activities, they're unique. Votes: 0

I have always been very diversified, so I have never suffered a catastrophic loss. I spread my money around the way a large institutional investor does. I use different brokerage firms. I manage some of my accounts myself... Votes: 0

I feel as if I'm in on a pass and am damn lucky to have whatever I have. It could all be taken away in a second. Votes: 0

I'm out and about meeting people all day long. And I'm very friendly; I talk to just about everybody I meet. Votes: 0

I have talent at playing myself. I don't have a very broad range, but at playing myself I am a wizard. It's more than fun; it's the best job on Earth. Votes: 0