I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida. Votes: 15
Babies aren't dishwasher-safe. Votes: 6
I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying. Votes: 0
Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive. Votes: 0
Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly. Votes: 0
Kangoroos can't hop backwards. Votes: 0
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. Votes: 0
If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background? Votes: 0
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed. Votes: 0
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls. Votes: 0
Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid. Votes: 0
The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'. Votes: 0
I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that. Votes: 0
I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range. Votes: 0
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence. Votes: 0
Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party. Votes: 0
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes. Votes: 0