I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. Votes: 9
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. Votes: 9
Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." Votes: 0
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. Votes: 0
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. Votes: 0
What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK. Votes: 0
Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger. Votes: 0
[There is] a breed of fashion models Votes: 0
Your friends love you anyway. Votes: 0
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. Votes: 0
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Votes: 0
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. Votes: 0
Smee! Raise the Ladies! Votes: 0
Some [soccer] players suffer four or five fatal injuries per game. That's how tough they are. Votes: 0
For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest). Votes: 0
I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. Votes: 0
I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits. Votes: 0
The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization. Votes: 0
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. Votes: 0
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be "colonial". Votes: 0
Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living. Votes: 0
The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over. Votes: 0
As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless. Votes: 0
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. Votes: 0
maybe somebody finally shot the dog. Votes: 0
Whatever the needs of the public are, the government responds to those needs by getting larger. Votes: 0
Someone was tapping on the window. Votes: 0
Never lick a steak knife. Votes: 0
And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. Votes: 0
Too many rocks in the mountains. Votes: 0
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights. Votes: 0
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals. Votes: 0
I don't know what you can possibly do for less than $50 to have somebody come in your house. Votes: 0