If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Votes: 29
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. Votes: 26
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. Votes: 17
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. Votes: 16
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. Votes: 13
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice. Votes: 12
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. Votes: 10
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. Votes: 6
The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren. Votes: 4
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. Votes: 0
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Votes: 0
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware. Votes: 0
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. Votes: 0
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. Votes: 0
The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there's only one other choice. Votes: 0
They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie. Votes: 0
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number. Votes: 0
It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them. Votes: 0