Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. Votes: 20
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration. Votes: 11
Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald. Votes: 6
Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I. Votes: 6
Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense. Votes: 5
Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables. Votes: 2
The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple. Votes: 0
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living. Votes: 0
Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow. Votes: 0
There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable. Votes: 0
The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition. Votes: 0
All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait. Votes: 0
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. Votes: 0
A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting. Votes: 0
Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible. Votes: 0
Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there. Votes: 0
A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him. Votes: 0
All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise. Votes: 0
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more. Votes: 0
Sometimes the unexpected happens when you don't expect a person to come up to expectations. Votes: 0
Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him. Votes: 0
Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs. Votes: 0
About the only time Congress conforms to the will of the people is when it decides to adjourn. Votes: 0
A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience. Votes: 0
The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed. Votes: 0
We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth. Votes: 0
A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman. Votes: 0
After wisdom comes wit. Votes: 0
After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride. Votes: 0