This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?" Votes: 10
I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself. Votes: 6
I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain. Votes: 3
I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist. Votes: 3
Love Goddess in training. It could happen. Votes: 3
You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard. Votes: 3
My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait." Votes: 2
How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? Votes: 0
What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks. Votes: 0
Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.... Votes: 0