Top quotes by Larry Wall

Post-Modernism was a reaction against Modernism. It came quite early to music and literature, and a little later to architecture. And I think it's still coming to computer science. Votes: 29

One of the very basic ideas of Post-Modernism is rejection of arbitrary power structures. Different people are sensitive to different kinds of power structures. Votes: 26

For me, writing is a love-hate relationship. Votes: 16

Perl was designed to work more like a natural language. It's a little more complicated but there are more shortcuts, and once you learned the language, it's more expressive. Votes: 15

The Harvard Law states: Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases. Votes: 14

When I announced the development of Perl 6, I said it was going to be a community design. I designed Perl, myself. It's limited by my own brain power. So I wanted Perl 6 to be a community design. Votes: 13

I think computer science, by and large, is still stuck in the Modern age. Votes: 12

I still drive my 1977 Honda Accord. The paint is almost all worn off. It's still running. Votes: 12

Younger hackers are hard to classify. They're probably just as diverse as the old hackers are. We're all over the map. Votes: 12

Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi. Votes: 11

I take time to watch anime. I don't know whether I'm allowed to, but I do it anyway. Votes: 10

Take Lisp, you know its the most beautiful language in the world -- at least up until Haskell came along. Votes: 10

There is no schedule. We are all volunteers, so we get it done when we get it done. Perl 5 still works fine, and we plan to take the right amount of time on Perl 6. Votes: 9

The world has become a larger place. The universe has been expanding, and Perl's been expanding along with the universe. Votes: 9

Hubris itself will not let you be an artist. Votes: 9

Some of modern engineering is necessary to good art. But I think of myself is a cultural artist. Votes: 7

Lisp has all the visual appeal of oatmeal with fingernail clippings mixed in. Votes: 7

I think operating systems work best if they're free and open. Particular applications are more likely to be proprietary. Votes: 5

As a linguist, I don't think of Ada as a big language. Now, English and Japanese, those are big languages. Ada is just a medium-sized language. Votes: 5

It's there as a sop to former Ada programmers. Votes: 5

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. Votes: 5

At many levels, Perl is a 'diagonal' language. Votes: 5

I want to see people using Perl to glue things together creatively, not just technically but also socially. Votes: 5

I'm just paid to do whatever I want to do. Some of the time it's development, and some of the time it's just goofing off. Votes: 4

I was raised a musician and I played classic music, violin, in orchestras and music comedy theaters, I have music running around in my head all the time, and if I hear music that's too interesting, I have to pay attention to it. Votes: 3

Computer programming is really a lot like writing a recipe. If you've read a recipe, you know what the structure of a recipe is, it's got some things up at the top that are your ingredients, and below that, the directions for how to deal with those ingredients. Votes: 3

When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct? Votes: 2

A lazy person will try to always find some way to do something; they'll always be looking for ways of doing something faster, more efficiently, and if you really want to control the world, that's a really sort of hubristic notion - excessive pride, the thing that Zeus zaps you for having. Votes: 2

Easy things should be easy, and hard things should be possible. Votes: 2

There is, however, a strange, musty smell in the air that reminds me of something...hmm...yes...I've got it...there's a VMS nearby, or I'm a Blit. Votes: 2

Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. Votes: 0

I think the way IBM has embraced the open source philosophy has been quite astonishing, but gratifying. I hope they'll do very well with it. Votes: 0

I just hope I'm never promoted to the level of my incontinence. Votes: 0

Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of some languages to go with some of these things. Votes: 0

A journey of a thousand miles continues with the second step. Votes: 0

We don't have enough parallel universes to allow all uses of all junction types--in the absence of quantum computing the combinatorics are not in our favor... Votes: 0

Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is. Votes: 0

Over the long term, symbiosis is more useful than parasitism. More fun, too. Ask any mitochondria. Votes: 0

When they first built the University of California at Irvine they just put the buildings in. They did not put any sidewalks, they just planted grass. The next year, they came back and put the sidewalks where the trails were in the grass. Perl is just that kind of language. It is not designed from first principles. Perl is those sidewalks in the grass. Votes: 0

And don't tell me there isn't one bit of difference between null and space, because that's exactly how much difference there is. Votes: 0

I think that's easier to read. Pardon me. Less difficult to read. Votes: 0

I think software patents are a bad idea. Many patents are given for trivial inventions. Votes: 0

This job of playing God is a little too big for me. Nevertheless, someone has to do it, so I'll try my best to fake it. Votes: 0

It is my job in life to travel all roads, so that some may take the road less travelled, and others the road more travelled, and all have a pleasant day. Votes: 0

Portability should be the default. Votes: 0

The problem with using C++ ... is that there's already a strong tendency in the language to require you to know everything before you can do anything. Votes: 0

Think of prototypes as a funny markup language--the interpretation is left up to the rendering engine. Votes: 0

I note that the Python folks still think they like JPython. I wonder how long that will last? Votes: 0

Not that I have anything much against redundancy. But I said that already. Votes: 0

When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi. Votes: 0

Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is paved with melting snowballs. Votes: 0

I procrastinate, but mostly because there's always too many things to do, and I got the stew in my mind that things do bubble up, so I'll throw things in there and let them stew around. It's sort of like greasing the squeaky wheels in my own brain. Votes: 0

Programmers can be lazy. Votes: 0

Don't wear rollerskates to a tug-of-war. Votes: 0

If you're a large corporation, you can afford to pay the money to register patents, but if you're an individual like me, you can't. Votes: 0

I want people to use Perl. I want to be a positive ingredient of the world and make my American history. So, whatever it takes to give away my software and get it used, that's great. Votes: 0

The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris. Votes: 0

We are so Post-Modern that we don't realize how Post-Modern we are anymore. Votes: 0

The problems that I really like to solve are our cultural problems. Votes: 0

"Lurking" is one metaphor that the Omniscience has allowed us to borrow. Votes: 0

(To someone at New York University) If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start thinking you're from New York. Votes: 0

... an initial underscore already conveys strong feelings of magicalness to a C programmer. Votes: 0

...this does not mean that some of us should not want, in a rather dispassionate sort of way, to put a bullet through csh's head. Votes: 0

[Boxed] Multiple bouncing balls in a box are a metaphor for community. Notice how the escaping balls explode. This is what happens to people who move from Perl to Ruby . Votes: 0

[Perl] gives you the STDERR filehandle so that your program can make snide comments off to the side while it transforms (or attempts to transform) your input into your output. Votes: 0

A good messenger expects to get shot. Votes: 0

A 'goto' in Perl falls into the category of hard things that should be possible, not easy things that should be easy. Votes: 0

A Perl program is correct if it gets the job done before your boss fires you. Votes: 0

Accidental stacks considered harmful. Votes: 0

All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory... Votes: 0

Almost nothing in Perl serves a single purpose. Votes: 0

Although the Perl Slogan is There's More Than One Way to Do It, I hesitate to make 10 ways to do something. Votes: 0

And besides, if Perl really takes off in the Windows space, I think the rest of us would just as soon have a double-agent within ActiveState. Votes: 0

And I don't like doing silly things (except on purpose). Votes: 0

And in the limiting case where the optimizer is completely broken because it's not implemented yet, we get to work around that too. Optionally... Votes: 0

Any false value is gonna be fairly boring in Perl, mathematicians notwithstanding. Votes: 0

Are you perchance running on a 64-bit machine? Votes: 0

As pointed out in a followup, Real Perl Programmers prefer things to be visually distinct. Votes: 0

As someone pointed out, you could have an attribute that says 'optimize the heck out of this routine', and your definition of heck would be a parameter to the optimizer. Votes: 0

Basically there's just so much stuff flowing past on the internet now, you have to let most of it go. And I've grown accustomed to the process of not worrying too much about the stuff I'm not getting to, because the important stuff will come back around. Votes: 0

Being famous has its benefits, but fame isn't one of them. Votes: 0

Besides, REAL computers have a rename() system call. Votes: 0

But the possibility of abuse may be a good reason for leaving capabilities out of other computer languages, it's not a good reason for leaving capabilities out of Perl . Votes: 0

But you have to allow a little for the desire to evangelize when you think you have good news. Votes: 0

Call me bored, but don't call me boring. Votes: 0

Computer languages differ not so much in what they make possible, but in what they make easy. Votes: 0

Even if you aren't in doubt, consider the mental welfare of the person who has to maintain the code after you, and who will probably put parens in the wrong place. Votes: 0

Even the White House has a press agent. Votes: 0

For the sake of argument I'll ignore all your fighting words. Votes: 0

Guilty as charged. Perl is happily ugly, and happily derivative. Votes: 0

Historically speaking, the presence of wheels in Unix has never precluded their reinvention. Votes: 0

Human languages tend to be much more ambiguous than computer languages because humans are much smarter about interpreting the context. Votes: 0

I am not a sort of person who wants to run a company. Votes: 0

I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses. Votes: 0

I don't like this official/unofficial distinction. It sound, er, officious. Votes: 0

I suppose you could switch grammars once you've seen 'use strict subs'. Votes: 0

I talked about becoming stupid, but I've always been stupid. Fortunately I've been just smart enough to realize that I'm stupid. Votes: 0

I think I'll side with the pissheads on this one. Votes: 0

I think I'm likely to be certified before Perl is... Votes: 0

I think it's a new feature. Don't tell anyone it was an accident. Votes: 0

I try not to confuse roles and traits in my own life. Being the Perl god is a role. Being a stubborn cuss is a trait. Votes: 0

I view the JVM as just another architecture that Perl ought to be ported to. (That, and the Underwood typewriter... Votes: 0

I won't mention any names, because I don't want to get sun4's into trouble... Votes: 0

I wouldn't ever write the full sentence myself, but then, I never use goto either. Votes: 0

I'd make people say 'use Fork;' if I thought I could get away with it. Votes: 0

If any ideology is so serious that you can't have fun while you're doing it, it's probably too serious. Votes: 0

If someone stinks, view it as a reason to help them, not a reason to avoid them. Votes: 0

If you and I always agree, then one of us is redundant. Votes: 0

If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument. Votes: 0

If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you. Votes: 0

I'm a great believer in visual distinctions. Votes: 0

I'm afraid my gut level reaction is basically, proceed is cute, but cute doesn't cut it in the emergency room. Votes: 0

I'm definitely a night owl. I get going about the time my wife crashes and goes to bed. And in some sense, I've had to learn to be more of a cat napper in recent years because Perl development, Perl design and development, has become a worldwide phenomenon - not just mailing lists, but RSC channels, Twitter even. This all happens 24 hours a day. And people come up with questions at any time of the day or night. Votes: 0

I'm never satisfied because I've been always interested in too many things and I always want to do everything at once. Votes: 0

I'm not too concerned about the future of Perl after me, because I see how these people are interacting with each other and even when I'm not there, they are helping each other and solving each other's problems in a way that I could not do, even if I were there. Votes: 0

I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at some Perl 4 code, and said, 'What is that, swearing? Votes: 0

I'm sorry, but you just made me lose my sense of humor, which is deeply regrettable. Votes: 0

In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency. Votes: 0

Information doesn't want to be free. Information wants to be valuable. Votes: 0

Information wants to be useful. Votes: 0

It is easier to port a shell than a shell script. Votes: 0

It should be illegal to yell 'Y2K' in a crowded economy. Votes: 0

It won't be covered in the book. The source code has to be useful for something, after all... Votes: 0

It would be possible to optimize some forms of goto, but I haven't bothered. Votes: 0

It's appositival, if it's there. And it doesn't have to be there. And it's really obvious that it's there when it's there. Votes: 0

It's certainly easy to calculate the average attendance for Perl conferences. Votes: 0

It's easier to make up sayings people like to hear than sayings they like to heed. Votes: 0

It's easy to solve the halting problem with a shotgun. Votes: 0

It's hard to tune heavily tuned code. Votes: 0

I've had to learn kind of sense when the questions would be coming and be ready to handle them. There's a lot of education and reiteration that happens on these online channels and sometimes it's tempting to just say, "Well, just go and read the documentation," but you know, people appreciate being led along and taught and mentored. Votes: 0

Just don't create a file called. Votes: 0

Laziness is a programmers main virtue. Votes: 0

Let us be charitable, and call it a misleading feature Votes: 0

Let's say the docs present a simplified view of reality... Votes: 0

Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets screwed. Votes: 0

Many computer scientists have fallen into the trap of trying to define languages like George Orwell's Newspeak, in which it is impossible to think bad thoughts. What they end up doing is killing the creativity of programming. Votes: 0

Many days I don't write any code at all, and some days I spend all day writing code. Votes: 0

Maybe we should take a clue from FTP and put in an option like 'print hash marks on every 1024 iterations'. Votes: 0

Must be a different Larry Wall. There are at least 137 of us in the U.S. Votes: 0

My arthritic pinkies are already starting to ache just thinking about ||||=. Votes: 0

Natural languages generally are not designed by humans, they're just designed by the participants and you say something new and somebody else says, "Oh, that's a cool way to say it," and the next thing you know, everyone is saying it because it's shiny. Votes: 0

Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the day after tomorrow. Like a variant of the song, Tomorrow, only it's more of the idea, the Mexican idea of mañana, you know, [singing] mañana, mañana, I love you, mañana, you're always a day away. Votes: 0

Not that I'm against sneaking some notions into people's heads upon occasion. (Or blasting them in outright. Votes: 0

Obviously I was either onto something, or on something. Votes: 0

Odd that we think definitions are definitive. Votes: 0

One operator is no big deal. That can be fixed in a jiffy. Votes: 0

Orthogonality for orthogonality's sake is not something I'm keen on. Votes: 0

Part of language design is perturbing the proposed feature in various directions to see how it might generalize in the future. Votes: 0

People get annoyed when you try to debug them. Votes: 0

Perhaps I'm missing the gene for making enemies. Votes: 0

Perhaps you should compile your Perl with long doubles one of these megaseconds. Votes: 0

Perl doesn't have an infatuation with enforced privacy. It would prefer that you stayed out of its living room because you weren't invited, not because it has a shotgun Votes: 0

Perl has a long tradition of working around compilers. Votes: 0

Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so consider picking the most readable one. Votes: 0

Perl is worse than Python because people wanted it worse. Votes: 0

Perl programming is an *empirical* science! Votes: 0

Perl should remain fast and intuitive (to the extent that it is Votes: 0

Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent. Votes: 0

Real theology is always rather shocking to people who already think they know what they think. I'm still shocked myself. Votes: 0

Reserve your abuse for your true friends. Votes: 0

Save it for my unauthorized autobiography. Votes: 0

So many computer languages try to force you into one way of thinking and Perl is very much the opposite of that approach. It's kind of like a, well, sometimes Perl has been called the Swiss army chainsaw of the internet, but it's more like a Swiss army machine shop. It really gives you a lot of tools, some of which are dangerous, but it lets you get your job done very quickly. Votes: 0

So please don't think I have a 'down' on the MVS people. I'm just pulling off their arms to beat other people over the head with. Votes: 0

Somebody out there is going to do something that's far more surprising than anything that I would do. I was surprised by the whole web thing in the first place. Votes: 0

Sometimes I wish I could put an expiration date on my quotes. Votes: 0

Symmetry is overrated. Overrated is symmetry. Votes: 0

That being said, I think we should immediately deprecate any string concatenation that combines '19' with '99'. Votes: 0

That which hits the fan tends to get flung in all directions. Votes: 0

The autodecrement is not magical. Votes: 0

The camel has evolved to be relatively self-sufficient. On the other hand, the camel has not evolved to smell good. Neither has Perl. Votes: 0

The choice of approaches could be made the responsibility of the programmer. Votes: 0

The computer should be doing the hard work. That's what it's paid to do, after all. Votes: 0

The only reason [not to use] perl is that some sysadmins don't allow software that they didn't pay for. By all means, let them send me money if it makes them feel better. Votes: 0

The potential of greater good goes right along with the potential for greater evil. Votes: 0

The problem with being consistent is that there are lots of ways to be consistent, and they're all inconsistent with each other. Votes: 0

The purpose of most computer languages is to lengthen your resume by a word and a comma. Votes: 0

The trouble with being quoted a lot is that it makes other people think you're quoting yourself when in fact you're merely repeating yourself. Votes: 0

The way I see it, if you declare something portable, you'll always be wrong, and if you declare it non-portable, you'll always be right. Votes: 0

The whole history of computers is rampant with cheerleading at best and bigotry at worst. Votes: 0

The whole intent of Perl 5's module system was to encourage the growth of Perl culture rather than the Perl core. Votes: 0

The young think they are immortal, and are determined to prove otherwise. Votes: 0

There ain't nothin' in this world that's worth being a snot over. Votes: 0

There's a saying in the software design industry: "Good. Fast. Cheap. Pick two." Votes: 0

There's many scripting languages in the world, Perl is a little bit special because it is based more on some ideas from the way natural languages work. Votes: 0

There's often more than one correct thing. There's often more than one right thing. There's often more than one obvious thing. Votes: 0

There's some entertainment value in watching people juggle nitroglycerin. Votes: 0

Though I'll admit readability suffers slightly... Votes: 0

To be a good artist, you have to serve the work of art and allow it to be what it is supposed to be. Votes: 0

To ordinary folks, conversion is not always automatic. It's something that may or may not require explicit assistance. See Billy Graham. Votes: 0

To Perl , or not to Perl, that is the kvetching. Votes: 0

True greatness is measured by how much freedom you give to others, not by how much you can coerce others to do what you want. Votes: 0

Unix is like a toll road on which you have to stop every 50 feet to pay another nickel. But hey! You only feel 5 cents poorer each time. Votes: 0

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise. Votes: 0

We can debug relationships, but it's always good policy to consider the people themselves to be features. People get annoyed when you try to debug them. Votes: 0

Well, coffee is my drug of choice, generally, with a little bit of Pepsi here and there, if I need more sugar. But yeah, if I could do intravenous coffee, I would. But I guess that's pretty standard. Votes: 0

Well, hey, let's just make everything into a closure, and then we'll have our general garbage collector, installed by 'use less memory'. Votes: 0

Well, I think Perl should run faster than C. Votes: 0

Well, you can implement a Perl peek() with unpack('P',...). Once you have that, there's only security through obscurity. Votes: 0

Well, you know, Hubbard had a bunch of people sworn to commit suicide when he died. So of course he never officially died... Votes: 0

We're really serious about reinventing everything that needs reinventing. Votes: 0

What about WRITING it first and rationalizing it afterwards? Votes: 0

What is the sound of Perl? Is it not the sound of a wall that people have stopped banging their heads against? Votes: 0

What you'll need most is courage. It is not an easy path that you've set your foot upon. Votes: 0

While I have historically been a late worker, you know, sometimes I even like to get up early and see what's happened in the few hours of the night and then I often take a nap in the middle of the day just to sort of make up for stretching my day out. Votes: 0

Would you trust the linguistic intuitions of someone who has been studying Latin or Greek for three days? Votes: 0

Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides. That means I *must* be right. Votes: 0

Yes, but I did manage to increase the amount of virginity in the world by that method. Votes: 0

You can never entirely stop being what you once were. That's why it's important to be the right person today, and not put it off till tomorrow. Votes: 0

You can prove anything by mentioning another computer language. Votes: 0

You can’t change the past. You can’t even change the future, in the sense that you can only change the present one moment at a time, stubbornly, until the future unwinds itself into the stories of our lives. Votes: 0

You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars. You can't even think about them! Votes: 0

You don't have to know the whole language to use it usefully, you can do baby talk, you can do grown up talk, you can cuss in it, you can write poetry, you can be a playwright, is sort of the idea. Votes: 0

You know, I've got my hands in 30 or 40 different pots simultaneously and so I have a little bit of all of that where I work. Votes: 0

You need to go and find someone to teach you the rudiments of irrational discourse. Votes: 0

You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns? Votes: 0

I've decided I don't want to be a manager. Every time you try to be responsive to your employees, they say you're being reactive and not proactive. And when you try to be proactive, they accuse you of being capricious and arbitrary. So I don't wanna be a manager... Votes: 0

The random quantum fluctuations of my brain are historical accidents that happen to have decided that the concepts of dynamic scoping and lexical scoping are orthogonal and should remain that way. Votes: 0

But I know what's important to me, and what isn't. And I think I know what people can get used to, and what they can even learn to like. (It just takes some people longer than others. Votes: 0

The court finds everyone to be in contempt (including himself:;:-), and orders everyone sentenced to five years hard labor. (Working on Perl, of course. Votes: 0

If you're going to define a shortcut, then make it the base [sic] darn shortcut you can. Votes: 0

Just because you're into control doesn't mean you're in control. Votes: 0