[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage. Votes: 13
If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear? Votes: 7
LOVE is like Playing Checkers. You have to know which Man to MOVE. Votes: 6
Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house! Votes: 6
Use those brains that God put in your head. Votes: 6
[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it. Votes: 3
Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one. Votes: 3
Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police. Votes: 3
You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty. Votes: 3
My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor's office and make people sick. Votes: 2
A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can Votes: 0
Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody. Votes: 0
Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children. Votes: 0
I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it. Votes: 0
It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient. Votes: 0
The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em. Votes: 0