Top quotes by Oliver Herford

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish. Votes: 22

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. Votes: 20

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings. Votes: 19

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember. Votes: 14

I sometimes think the Pussy-Willows grey Are Angel Kittens who have lost their way, And every Bulrush on the river bank A Cat-Tail from some lovely Cat astray. Votes: 12

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony. Votes: 11

When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from. Votes: 10

Only the young die good. Votes: 9

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. Votes: 9

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. Votes: 9

Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you. Votes: 8

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. Votes: 6

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan. Votes: 6

Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you. Votes: 6

I heard a bird sing In the dark of December A magical thing And sweet to remember. 'We are nearer to Spring Than we were in September,' I heard a bird sing In the dark of December. Votes: 6

Many are called but few get up. Votes: 5

Age, like distance lends a double charm. Votes: 5

A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous. Votes: 4

A pest is a person who can talk like an encyclopedia, and does. Votes: 3

A man is known by the silence he keeps. Votes: 3

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families. Votes: 3

An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it. Votes: 2

Some take their gold in minted mold, and some in harps thereafter, but give me mine in bubbles fine and keep the change in laughter. Votes: 0

If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs. Votes: 0

The Elf and the Dormouse UNDER a toadstool crept a wee Elf, Out of the rain to shelter himself. Under the toadstool, sound asleep, Sat a big Dormouse all in a heap. Trembled the wee Elf, frightened and yet Fearing to fly away lest he get wet. To the next shelter-maybe a mile! Sudden the wee Elf smiled a wee smile. Tugged till the toadstool toppled in two. Holding it over him, gaily he flew. Soon he was safe home, dry as could be. Soon woke the Dormouse-"Good gracious me!" "Where is my toadstool?" loud he lamented. -And that's how umbrellas first were invented. Votes: 0

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it. Votes: 0

I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan. Votes: 0

There is always room at the top - after the investigation. Votes: 0

A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well. Votes: 0

Song is the licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech. Votes: 0

Diplomacy is living in state. Votes: 0

Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow. Votes: 0

Diplomacy: lying in state. Votes: 0

My wife has a whim of iron Votes: 0

Children, behold the Chimpanzee: He sits on the ancestral tree From which we sprang in ages gone. Votes: 0

To babble is to make a feminine noise somewhat resembling the sound of a brook, but with less meaning. Votes: 0