I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. Votes: 0
I like being a writer. Votes: 0
Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect. Votes: 0
If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself." Votes: 0
It is a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole. Votes: 0
Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn... Votes: 0
And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst! Votes: 0
Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind. Votes: 0
As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies. Votes: 0
He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba. Votes: 0
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. Votes: 0
DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT. Votes: 0
The second mouse gets the cheese! Votes: 0
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. Votes: 0
He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk. Votes: 0
Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four. Votes: 0
Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. Votes: 0
Humans need fantasy to be human. Votes: 0
Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise. Votes: 0
The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed. Votes: 0
When people talk about their great past they're usually trying to excuse the mediocre present. Votes: 0
The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things Votes: 0
When in doubt, choose to live. Votes: 0
Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them Votes: 0
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it. Votes: 0
You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger. Votes: 0
Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead. Votes: 0
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. Votes: 0
A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force. Votes: 0
All property is theft, except mine. Votes: 0
All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums. Votes: 0
And never resist a perfect moment. Votes: 0
And the new day was a great big fish Votes: 0
Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer. Votes: 0
Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor. Votes: 0
At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe. Votes: 0
Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be. Votes: 0
Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture. Votes: 0
Cake is not the issue here. Votes: 0
Chances are where you find them Votes: 0
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but her's curiosity could have massacred a pride of lions. Votes: 0
Do you think there's anything to eat in this forest?" "Yes," said the wizard bitterly, "us. Votes: 0
DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH. Votes: 0
Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. Votes: 0
Everything is a test. Votes: 0
Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce. Votes: 0
Fate can be one mean god at times. Votes: 0
He'd been an angel once. He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people. Votes: 0
Humans can think inhuman thoughts. Votes: 0
I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places. Votes: 0
I may be daft but I'm no' stupid! Votes: 0
I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins. Votes: 0
I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane. Votes: 0
I used to like reading and you read enough books and you overflow and then you start writing. Votes: 0
I would advise budding writers some other kind of job, unless they think they're very, very lucky. Votes: 0
I'd like to sell a lot of books. Votes: 0
If Not You, Who Else? Votes: 0
If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself. Votes: 0
If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty. Votes: 0
Insanity is catching. Votes: 0
It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory. Votes: 0
It's a god-eat-god world. Votes: 0
It's amazing how fast gold works. Votes: 0
It's hard to be famous and alive. Votes: 0
It's tough at the top. It's tough at the bottom. But in between you could use them for horse-shoes. Votes: 0
Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It's a feeling inside that can hardly be contained. Votes: 0
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. Votes: 0
Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off. Votes: 0
Look out! He's got a daisy! Votes: 0
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again. Votes: 0
Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.' Votes: 0
Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord. Votes: 0
My programming language was solder. Votes: 0
Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people. Votes: 0
Never f*!k with the ineffable. Votes: 0
Other people salted away money for their old age, but Nanny preferred to accumulate memories. Votes: 0
People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour. Votes: 0
People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it. Votes: 0
People's whole lives do pass in front of their eye before dying. The process is called "Living Votes: 0
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things. Votes: 0
Quick, someone's coming! Look real! Votes: 0
She was a beefy young woman and, whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing. Votes: 0
The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other. Votes: 0
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid. Votes: 0
The English were notoriously unenthusiastic about burning witches. I suppose ours were too soggy. Votes: 0
The thing with crowns is, it isn't the putting them on that's the problem, it's the taking them off. Votes: 0
The trouble with life was that you didn't get a chance to practice before doing it for real. Votes: 0
Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices. Votes: 0
There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime. Votes: 0
There was no himself in himself. Votes: 0
There would be a price... But if you were worried about the price, then why were you in the shop? Votes: 0
Things just happen. What the hell. Votes: 0
This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That's why everything is exactly the wrong way around. Votes: 0
This is Morbidia," said Vlad. "Although she's been calling herself Tracy lately, to be cool. Votes: 0
Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat. Votes: 0
We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork. Votes: 0
We're on a mission from Glod. Votes: 0
What can the harvest hope for... Votes: 0
What do you call those things at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful gangsters? Votes: 0
When I am old I shall wear midnight. Votes: 0
WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW? Votes: 0
Who knows what the future holds. Votes: 0
Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit. Votes: 0
You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing. Votes: 0
You have reached the end of cake Votes: 0
You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick. Votes: 0
Young adults that actually read are reading bodice rippers and best-sellers and me. And Horror. Votes: 0