Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Votes: 9
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. Votes: 2
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. Votes: 0
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. Votes: 0
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. Votes: 0
Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Votes: 0
Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times. Votes: 0
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. Votes: 0
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury! Votes: 0
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. Votes: 0
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. Votes: 0
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. Votes: 0
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Votes: 0
Always drink upstream from the herd. Votes: 0
Don't squat with your spurs on. Votes: 0
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? Votes: 0
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. Votes: 0
The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday. Votes: 0
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite. Votes: 0
Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers. Votes: 0
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. Votes: 0
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one Votes: 0
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious. Votes: 0
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. Votes: 0
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs Votes: 0
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. Votes: 0
In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell Votes: 0
Never miss a chance to shut up Votes: 0
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Votes: 0
Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed. Votes: 0
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. Votes: 0
A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created. Votes: 0
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. Votes: 0
Common sense ain't common. Votes: 0
Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill. Votes: 0
Farmers have about given up hope of getting farm relief and have decided to fertilize instead. Votes: 0
Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt. Votes: 0
I don't know what humor is. Votes: 0
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you. Votes: 0
I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it. Votes: 0
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. Votes: 0
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. Votes: 0
It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good. Votes: 0
It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it's the return of my investment Votes: 0
It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something. Votes: 0
Lord, let me live until I die. Votes: 0
No man is great if he thinks he is. Votes: 0
No party is as bad as its leaders. Votes: 0
One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets. Votes: 0
Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them. Votes: 0
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees. Votes: 0
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison. Votes: 0
People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please. Votes: 0
Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it. Votes: 0
Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one. Votes: 0
That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election. Votes: 0
The "Ways & Means Committee" is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means. Votes: 0
The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over. Votes: 0
The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem. Votes: 0
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich. Votes: 0
There is a horse here-the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes. Votes: 0
There is a hundred things to single you out for promotion in party politics besides ability. Votes: 0
We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile. Votes: 0
We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good. Votes: 0
When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction. Votes: 0
Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up. Votes: 0
You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home. Votes: 0
You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow. Votes: 0