Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters - all of whom are late night comedians. Votes: 3
President Bush's emergency declaration for the State of Texas is great news for the people and communities that have experienced the devastating wildfires firsthand. Already, communities have rallied to help neighbors in need. Votes: 1
My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time. Votes: 3 Anthony Jeselnik
Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! Votes: 4 Anne Frank